Firstly, I’m not going to debate the ethics of hexing. Personally, it’s not something I would do, but if someone was attacking me physically, there aren’t many who would blame me for protecting myself, even if that resulted in the attacker getting hurt. The same should apply in magic. We all have the right to defend ourselves from attack. They key is knowing when a spell is defensive rather than offensive.
Having said that, a hex or a curse—even if defensive—may not be the best answer. I think of a hex as treating a symptom rather than finding a cure. If someone is hurting you in some way, there’s a good chance they’re hurting. While we can’t play psychologist, there are some things we can try to get to the root of the problem. It may not be pleasant, but neither are curses.
- Go within, be honest, and ask yourself: have I hurt this person in some way? Is it possible I hurt them at some point, even inadvertently? If I have, this does not give the person the right to hurt me, but if I’m preparing to hex this person because they’re hurting me…well, people in glass houses and all that. If I have hurt them, or even if it’s just a possibility, perhaps I should try to make amends. Apologise. In fact, even if I’m sure I haven’t hurt this person, this gesture, if done with sincerity, may be enough to change the other person’s perception of me.
- If I haven’t done anything to this person, or if apologising isn’t possible, I would try to put myself in this person’s shoes. (Even if they’re Crocs.) As I mentioned before, people usually lash out because they’re hurting or afraid. Sometimes it’s something less noble, like jealousy, but jealousy stems from fear.
This person needs to heal. It doesn’t matter if I don’t know what it is that has traumatised them. I might try sending this person some healing vibes and ask the angels to help this person. I might try a meditation like https://www.excelatlife.com/downloads/meditation/kindness.htm. I’ll be nice to them. (Yes, even if they’re making my life miserable.) I Might ask them something like, “Are you okay? Because it really feels like you’re angry…is there anything I can do to help?”
The idea of doing these things may make you feel sick, especially if this person has caused a lot of damage. But ask yourself what you have to lose by trying. If it works, not only would you be rid of the problem, you’ll have helped another person to heal.
Failing that, you still have the option of addressing the problem through magic.