Last Friday, for my daily card, I drew the Tower. Fuck me – what’s today going to bring? I proceeded to run through all the possibilities: my partner was leaving me for someone with 3 tiddies; I’d come home to find my cats had hanged themselves because I don’t give them the exact number of pets they want every day (if only they’d tell me how many!); my job was being given to a proofreading software program that doesn’t know the difference between ‘continuous’ and ‘continual’; or something really bad – the price of the waffle maker I had my eye on would increase before I had a chance to place my Amazon order.
Seriously, though, I was waiting for the shit to hit the fan.
But nothing happened. My partner is still happy with my two tiddies; my cats are still screaming at me for more and more pets; my boss still lets me work where I work; and even though the price of the waffle maker did go up, I could just about afford it. (It arrives this Friday.) My mother even had a CAT scan that day – all went well.
The weekend came and my partner and I spent a lovely weekend together, discussing the prospect of living together and the house we’d put a bid on, where the littler box and waffle maker would go, how great my tiddies are, and still no Tower moment.
Then Monday rolled around.
The house – the house we’d been hoping to buy, had put a bid on…the funding fell through. (We weren’t going for a mortgage – long story.)
Needless to say, we were both gutted.
And even though I drew the Tower on Friday, and didn’t receive that news until Monday, I’m sure this is what the Tower was signifying, because as I was shuffling, even though I was asking the cards what I could expect for that day, I was thinking about that house.
What I’ve learned from this is to really pay attention to what you’re thinking about while you shuffle, what’s under the surface of the words you’re forming in your mind. You may be asking the cards one thing and ‘saying’ it in your mind, but if other thoughts are there, those could dominate the reading.
As disappointed as I am, I know that there are other options for us, and it may all turn out better. The house we had our eye on was a little small for our needs, and even though we’re going to have to continue renting, we’ll be able to look for something a bit bigger, we’ll still save money, and we’ll be together. I’m looking at those 2 cups, which are right in front of me, and just hoping my fucking cats don’t trip me as I reach for them.